Friday, February 02, 2007

i'm back... to give you updates

for those of you who missed me................. i'm back!!!

so much had happened to my life...

so much that i really dont know where to begin...

Last November, i was really frustrated about what had happened betwwen M and me...

I was not able to tell you guys that prior to that day (last week of october or first week of November), the Rock (my husband) and i talked about us which ended up in bed...

Last December, i found out that i was pregnant...

With THE ROCK, of course!!!!... Definitely it was not M's baby because the last time we did it was last August and i was just more than a month preggy when i found out...


Anyway, The Rock and i talked again and we decided to start anew again...

And that day, i realized i was still in love with him... as he was with me...

He changed... I changed.... FOR THE BETTER!!!

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My early stage of pregnancy was very difficult... the morning sickness was terrible... i could not get out of bed without getting dizzy and without the terrible headache... everytime i eat, i vomit...

i was miserable....

but i accepted all that... i just told myself that it was the price i need to pay for being unfaithful...

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the Rock doesnt know yet about the cheating... i dont know if i will ever have the courage to tell him... i know he will leave me and take all the kids if he found out... he told me that once... and i dont want to take the risk of telling him... no!!!... definitely not now!

i swear to God that i will never ever repeat the same mistake again... i already woke up to that nightmare i had when i was still with M... i know that to be able to completely correct the mistake, i have to be honest with the Rock and tell him the truth...

but i am still afraid...

i know i would lose him and my kids... i would die if that happens....

maybe someday.... but definitely not now!!!!

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